If Willow thought she had kept her nerves under wraps, that thought was dismissed by the amused look the SF had given her.

Could she be any more green?

Around America, gardeners everywhere wanted their lawns to be as green as she was.

She couldn’t make it more obvious how nervous she was right now.

Willow sighed as she waited for the last of her papers to be processed. Up until this point, she had always had an out in the back of her mind. She always thought that, if she wigged too much, she could accept that place in Special Forces instead of working at the Stargate Command. All last week, in LA, she had used the ‘I can change my mind anytime’ mentality to keep herself from becoming a bundle of nerves.

But today was the day, and she had missed her opportunity.

Today, Second Lieutenant Willow Rosenberg became a member of the Stargate Command.

Her morning jog, her morning ride, did nothing to ease her nerves. Talking to Giles on the phone did little to help either. All the phone call managed to do was to get her into a worse state. She was touched Angel, Giles, Cordy and Faith rang to wish her luck - and probably to check up on her - but she really wished they had waited until tonight to call her - when she was calmer, and she didn’t have to pretend her nerves were because she was going to work to analyze deep space telemetry.

This was almost as bad as the day before she graduated from the Academy.

She had been nervous then, more scared by the prospect of failure than anything else, and she was the same now.

Willow guessed starting a new job for anyone was a harrowing experience. But for her, it was almost traumatic.

She really wished General Hammond hadn’t told her they'd made a position in SR-1 especially for her. When he first told her that, she had been impossibly proud. The thought that she had impressed them so much that they wanted to put her in the premier S&R team had made her day.

But when she got to LA, and had time to think about the implications… Well, she realized she would have been just as happy with SR-1000.

God, what if she screwed up a mission? What if she choked? What if her team hated her because their fourth was transferred so she could get in? What if she made a fool of herself? What if they decided they'd made a mistake and kicked her out of the Air Force?

What if Dr Jackson decided she was a liability to the Stargate Command and told them what had happened at his apartment?

Then she would have to go back… God! She was driving herself insane. Her mind had gone over, and embraced, every single thing that could go wrong.

Was it any wonder she was just a tad nervous?

Sheesh, she was surprised she could form coherent sentences.

This, everything, meant so much to her, and the thought of screwing it up - more than she already had - made her mind go numb with horror. What if Dr Jackson DID say something? That thought had been plaguing her since he picked her up at the airport last night.

He had been polite, a gentleman, during the entire trip home. He had asked her about LA, what she had done, if she was nervous about today.

But he never once mentioned what happened that night in his apartment.

Every time she saw him, that’s all she could think about. Even last night, when he had been waiting for her at the arrival gate, her face had flamed. The man had carried her naked out of the shower… as far as first impressions went, she made one hell of a one on Dr Jackson.

By the time she went to bed last night, she was convinced Dr Jackson was going to say something to someone.

Add to that her fear of failure, fear of being hated, nerves about screwing up, aliens… She couldn’t forget the fact that she already had an S&R reputation because of her ‘talent’, nor could she forget that she had been put on the premier team because of said reputation.

And there was one thing Willow couldn’t forget even if she tried…

She was green. Green as green, never been in a command before or in a combat situation. All she had done was train. She had no field experience, yet she already had a reputation in her specified field.

Sweet Jesus, if she wasn’t nervous before, she sure as hell was now.

Maybe it wasn’t too late to call Colonel Michaels and ask for that Special Forces position. He said to call him any time she changed her mind. She still had his number in her -

“Here you go, Lieutenant,” the guard handed her several id and clearance cards. “You’re all set. Major Kawalsky is expecting you. You’ll have to change elevators on the way down but, once you get to the sub levels, you need to go down to level twenty five to the locker rooms. Once you’re ready go to level twenty. One of your team will meet you there.”

Level 25 and level 20. Got it. All she had to do was convince her feet to actually move.

Willow stared down at the cards. It really wasn’t too late to change her mind was it? Aliens were far too close to what she had been trying to get away from, maybe Special Forces was the -

“Ma’am?” The guard looked kind of sympathetic. “Are you all right, Ma’am?”

What? “Oh, yes, I’m fine.”

He opened his mouth again, but the ringing phone saved her from any more embarrassing concern.

Willow moved away from the guard and headed for the elevator. She still had half an hour before she officially reported for duty, plenty of time for her to change her mind and give Colonel Michaels a call. The more she thought about it, the more Special Forces started to look good.

If she was with the SF’s, there was less chance of her screwing up and being kicked out.

And that was the most important thing, wasn’t it?

That was the only thing that mattered.

Willow’s one and only love was the Air Force, making sure they stayed together was all she cared about. All that she wanted in li -

“Lieutenant Rosenberg!”

She spun around at the sound of her name, surprised to see the guard running towards her. He looked… frazzled.

“Ma’am, Major Kawalsky just phoned, there’s a situation…”

Situation? On her first day? Oh god, this wasn’t some sort of initiation ritual was it? Did she have to sprint naked through the SGC? Play chicken in a Deathglider… which, strangely, actually held appeal to her. The thought of going hard and fast in the X-302s -

“…you’re to report to the briefing room on level 27 as soon as you’re ready. Your team will meet you there.”

Willow stared at him as she was ushered towards the elevator. Briefing room? Her team was meeting her in the briefing room? The team she hadn’t met yet?

No. Oh no. This had to be some kind of joke. This wasn’t what she thought it was. Was it? “Did Major Kawalsky say what the situation was?”

Please, God, don't let it be a mission.

She wasn’t ready for a mission yet. She still had to freak out, change her mind a million times… they couldn’t be sending her out on a mission on her first day.

Her luck wasn’t that bad, was it?

“No, Ma’am, just that you’re needed in the briefing room, ASAP,” the guard told her as the elevator doors opened.

Hesitantly, Willow stepped inside.

“Good luck, Ma’am.”

Yeah, she was going to need it.

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