Cordelia had never been so happy to see someone throw up in her life.

She rubbed her hand gently on Willow’s back while the redhead emptied the contents of her stomach which, Cordy was sure, wasn’t all that much. Willow had been too busy to eat dinner so everything she did eat should be up by now.

But Willow didn’t look like she was slowing down.

Hell, Cordy didn’t care if they spent the next hour here. Willow throwing up meant that she was back.

For the last thirty minutes, Willow had been in an almost daze like state.

She hadn’t said a word since they left the hotel, god, Willow wouldn’t even look at her. The witch’s green eyes had been glazed over and there was a perpetual look of horror on her face.

Willow had freaked.

Gee, wasn’t that the understatement of the MILLENIUM!

They had all known it would happen. It was something each of them dreaded; the day Willow saw a demon for the first time since graduation. Everyone – Faith, Angel, Giles, and herself – knew it would be bad.

Though, not quite this bad.

For a while there, Cordy thought they had broken Willow.

The only thing she responded to was the word ‘run’. Once everything sunk through her fear, that was all she could do. There had been times when Cordy had a hard time keeping up with her but at least it had put some distance between them and the hotel.

It was only in the last mile that Willow started to come back.

Her pace had slowed and eventually stopped. Willow’s eyes became a little clearer and she had asked for Daniel. Not that that had been a good sign, especially when Willow started looking around for him. When she couldn’t find Daniel, she snapped out of it.

It was kind of like in the movies, when the person realizes they are NOT dreaming.

The next word out of her mouth was Angel and then Willow raced for the nearest alley and threw up.

There was something wrong with being this happy about it, but Cordy had been so scared they had damaged Willow beyond repair.

Hey, she had read all the psycho babble stuff. Giles had been obsessed with getting Willow back when she first left for the USAF and he had brought books on Post Traumatic Stress and all the other stuff that went with it. Cordy had read about people retreating into their minds, when things got so bad, and never coming back.

For a while, she had thought Willow had done that.

"It’s ok, Wills," Cordy whispered gently, continuing to rub her back. "We’re safe."

For now at least.

She was pretty sure they were out of immediate danger.

And now that Willow was back , or at least semi-back, things were better.

"Oh god," the redhead moaned and retched again.

Ok, maybe not so much better.

"Oh god," she repeated once she had finished. "This isn’t real, this isn’t happening."

Shit. "It’s bad, I know, but we’re safe. I know this club that’s a few miles from here. It’s a sanctuary, we can go there."

It was the only place Cordy could think… why was Willow looking at her like she had grown a second head?

Man, she was pale.

"We can’t. We have to go back and save Angel. We… I…" the redhead’s eyes went wild. "I choked, I… I choked… I left him behind. I ran." The look on her face told Cordy that maybe there was more to Willow’s sudden bout of nausea than demons.

God, she should have known.

Guilt and fear – when one faded, the other reared its ugly head.

Maybe trance Willow wasn’t that bad, at least they would be able to get to Caritas. Once they were there, the demons couldn’t get their grimy demony claws on her. Cordy couldn’t let Willow be taken, the witch didn’t know that there was more than one reason they needed her safe.

They needed her to stop the final ritual; and by the way the demons were jonesing for her, she could.

That was why they had done the spell to shield her magic and why Angel had been so desperate to… ok, Angel really didn’t give a rats ass about saving the world at the moment. She seriously doubted their need for the witch had been on Angel’s mind when he went all superhero on them.

But they needed Willow alive.

Ok… Cordy really wasn’t giving a shit about the final ritual either, but it was better than imagining Willow dying from fear alone.

God, how scared had Willow been? Still was?

How could she even think about going back there? Yeah, like she really had to ask herself that question. What was the bet Willow was blaming herself for this?

When it came to guilt of massive proportions, there was no logic.

It was something she learned from Angel. "Will, we can’t go back. The demons will kill us." Not to mention Willow would probably pass out from fear.

Cordy seriously doubted the witch could face another demon.

Which didn’t bode well for the final ritual.

Willow shook her head. "No… we have to. We don’t leave our people behind," the witch picked up the axe she had dropped. "I can do this. I… I just choked. I can do this."

Her breath was erratic and Cordy was beginning to think she was going to hyperventilate.

Damn, this was bad.

Really, really, bad.

"Wills, listen to me. We can’t fight the demons with just the two of us," she reasoned with the redhead. "We can call for more help once we reach Caritas."

Willow opened her mouth to argue but no words came out. Actually, Willow was frozen with fear and her eyes were looking just behind… oh crap.

"There’s something behind me, isn’t there?"

The axe slipped from Willow’s hands.

Slowly, Cordy turned around.

Vampire.

Gee, it was their lucky night.

"Fill us in, Daniel."

"Oh, um, stakes to the heart like in the standard mythology. Sunlight, decapitation," he flicked through the text. "Holy water, fire, crosses."

"Right," Grogan pretended to pat down his clothes. "We’ve got none of those. We’re ready."

Kawalsky ignored him. "What else?"

"They’re a lot stronger than humans," Hayes put in. "The vampire we fought back in Sunnydale was strong."

"And what if it’s not a vampire?"

"Then we do what we usually do when we’re fighting something with more fire power and superior technology."

"What’s that?"

Hayes shrugged. "Do the rescue and get the fuck out of there as fast as possible."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Rescue? We’re going to rescue Rosenberg?" Grogan asked incredulously. "I’ll bet you two hundred dollars that she’ll get her ass out of trouble before we even get there. I keep telling you guys, Rosenberg hates being treated like a girl. She’s not the type to wait for her white knight."

Silence.

"No offence, Daniel."

NO!

Nonononononononononononono.

It wasn’t happening, it wasn’t –

"Willow!" Cordelia screamed as the vampire slammed her up against the wall.

The vampire laughed, his eyes on Willow. "I don’t think you’re friend there is going to help you," he took a long deep breath and let out a moan. "I don’t think I’ve ever had a human that smelled as good as that one."

Oh fuck. Oh god. Oh fuck.

"Don’t worry about a thing sweety," the vampire taunted her. "I’ll be with you in a second."

She was frozen to the spot, unable to move.

Willow watched helplessly as the vampire raised Cordy off the ground, its hand tightly around her neck. She couldn’t do anything BUT watch. Moving was out of the question, everything was.

This… this… it was too much.

Oh god.

"Wil… Willow!" Cordy croaked out, her hands clawing at her neck in a bid to get air. "Will…help… please. Help… WILLOW!"

No! No!

"Keep calling to her honey," the vampire told Cordy. "You do wonders for her scent when you say her name. Hmm… I wonder what her fear would do if I tortured you… showed you a good time?"

This wasn’t happening! This wasn’t re –

"LIEUTENANT!" Cordy’s screamed shrilled through the night air and Willow’s ears.

The title caused Willow to stagger backward, snapping her out of her daze.

Her heart slammed into her chest and the fear that kept her frozen dissipated at the sound of her rank.

"LIEUTENANT!" It wasn’t a scream this time, more like a hoarse whisper.

Oh god! NO! "CORDY!" Willow screamed her name a second before she launched herself at the vampire.

There was no thinking behind her action.

Just instinct.

Pure military instinct.

She jumped onto the back of the vampire and pounded him on and around the head furiously. The attack did what Willow had hoped. The vampire dropped Cordy and he struggled to get her off his back.

Willow braced herself as the vampire ran backwards and rammed her against the wall, breaking her hold on him.

He spun around and the next moment SHE was suspended in the air by her neck.

Insanely, she found herself comparing vampires to Jaffa. At least with the Jaffa you had a chance of out running them. Vampires were a little harder to get rid of.

"Aw," the demon gave her a disappointed look. "All that good fear gone to waste. I knew I should have killed your friend when I had the – "

Willow crashed to the ground as the vampire turned to ash.

Cordy was standing above her, axe in hand. "You know, vampires really shouldn’t play with their food. It isn’t good for them."

God she missed Buffy.

"You ok?" Cordy asked, offering her a hand up.

Willow reached out, shaking.

"Will? You ok? You in there?"

She nodded. "I’m here."

"Thank god. Are you ok? Did he hurt you, did he – "

Cordy’s words were cut off when Willow threw her arms around her. "I’m sorry, Cordy. Oh god, I’m so sorry."

Cordy had almost died.

Because of her.

And Angel… Angel she had left behind.

Sweet Jesus, what was she doing? What was happening? How could she have left Angel behind like that, how could she run and let him face the demons on his own?

She had let him down just like she had let Buffy down.

"It’s ok," the brunette promised her as she pulled out of the embrace. "It’s ok. I’m alive, see?"

Her neck was raw from where the vampire had been strangling her. "Cordy I’m – "

"AH!" she held her hand up. "It’s ok. No arguments. We better get out of here. I seriously doubt that bozo was the last vampire we’re going to run into."

Cordy gripped her hand and pulled her out of the alley, into the LA street.

"I know where we should go," she told her. "The club I mentioned before bozo showed up, Caritas, it’s a safe haven. Angel will be able to find us there."

"Do…" Willow suddenly found the ground interesting. "Do you think he’s still alive?"

"I know he’s alive," Cordelia’s voice held promise. "Believe me when I tell you Angel has gotten out of a lot worse situations than – "

Than what? Cordy?

"Oh crap. OH CRAP! Um… Lieutenant?"

Lieutenant? Willow looked up and her heart stopped as she saw five demons approaching them. Oh shit. They had to get the hell out of there.

Willow froze again but this time she fought the desire to retreat like she had at the hotel. The lieutenant wanted nothing more than to let her mind lock her safely away from the horrors coming towards her. This was like every nightmare and worst fear coming at her at once.

Well almost every nightmare.

Her friends dying was a nightmare she couldn’t cope with. It was that very thought that stopped her from giving in. She refused to allow herself to be responsible for Cordy’s death by letting her fear consume her. Her training forbade it.

She was trained to put the lives of others before her own.

"Lieutenant?" Cordy sounded worried.

Willow cherished the sound of her rank and used it like armor. "Run?" Willow suggested.

"Good idea."

They spun around and only managed to run a few steps before stopping again.

Coming up from behind were another three demons.

Eight fucking demons.

She couldn’t… she couldn’t...

NO! She was a Lieutenant in the United States Air Force, she could do this! She couldn’t stand back and let her friend die. She couldn’t. Too many had died already.

She had to fight.

Even if it meant her own death.

"Ah, Lieutenant, don’t freak on me now."

"Fuck it, we have to run!" Willow yanked on Cordy’s arm and bolted to her right across the street, in the direction of the three demons.

Willow didn’t really know what she was doing but she figured three were better than five.

The demons countered their move, moving slightly slower than they were but not slow enough. Maybe if they had vampire speed they would be all right.

Or if they had a car.

Like the one headed for the three demons now.

Willow half watched and half ran as the car plowed straight into the demons and came to a screeching holt next to them.

"Get in!" Gunn shouted while Rondell fired a crossbow.

Willow dove into the back of Angel’s car with Cordy right behind her.

Faith groaned as forced herself to remain conscious. She had been slipping in and out of consciousness for what felt like days. She didn’t know what was a dream and what wasn’t.

Man she hurt.

Slowly she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings.

Damn.

So it hadn’t been a bad dream.

"He’s alive," Gunn assured her as they sped through the LA streets. "The doc was patching him up when we left. He’s going to be ok."

"Thank god!" Cordelia exclaimed. "What about you? Aren’t you supposed to be resting or something? Last time I saw you, you could hardly walk."

He smiled grimly. "When the demons took off, everyone who could still stand was sent out to find you guys," he shrugged. "I can still drive."

They were out there looking for them? "Why? I mean," she shook her head trying to think. "I know why you were looking for us but why did the demons leave everyone alive? How did they find us so fast?"

Willow really didn’t like the look on his face.

"When they took off and left everyone, we figured they were after you," Rondell began. "We think the demons felt your magic through the link with Faith. They’re tracking you that way."

WHAT?

Oh god no.

SHE had been the one to lead the demons to the hotel? They hadn’t followed Gunn’s… oh god. That meant… that meant… "As long as I’m linked to Faith they’ll find me," she said more to herself than the others.

How many more people would die because of her?

"So break the link," Cordelia told her.

She wished it was that easy. "Where are we going?"

"Back to the hotel."

"Stop the car."

"Excuse me?"

"Stop the god damn car. We can’t go back to the hotel."

Gunn pulled the car off to the side of the road. "What’s wrong?"

She was shaking all over. "We can’t go back to the hotel, the demons will attack again."

"Not if you break your link to Faith," Rondell stated.

"I can’t break the link to Faith, it’s permanent until either I find her or she dies."

"Oh god. What… Hey! Willow! What are you doing?" Cordelia scurried out of the car after her. "Get the hell back in the car."

NO! Willow jumped away from Cordy when she tried to touch her. She didn’t want to be touched. She needed to think, a second to get herself together.

"Come on, Rosenberg, get back in the car," Gunn asked her. "It’s ok. We’ll go to Angel and he’ll figure out a way to – "

"It doesn’t work like that and you know it. Anywhere I go, the demons will go," she pointed out. "They’ll follow us and the next time, they might not stop when I run away again and everyone will die."

God she hated herself for running away.

"We can’t let anything happen to Angel, we need him to stop the final ritual."

"So what are we going to do?"

"I could give myself up or – "

"WHAT?" Cordelia screamed. "Are you NUTS?"

Wait. "Cordy, I’m not – "

"Damn right you’re not," Cordy looked outraged. "You’re freaking insane if you think I’m going to let you sacrifice yourself to save us. NO! I can’t believe you would even think that. Maybe Angel’s right, maybe you are – "

"CORDY!" Gunn cut off the brunettes words. "Rosenberg, you’re not giving yourself up."

"I wasn’t going to, which you would know if I could finish a sentence. I can’t give myself up because you’d never find Faith if I did. I was going to say that we need to rescue Faith. It’s the only way to break the link."

"Oh yes, and that’s so very different from option number one."

Willow shook her head. "It’s not suicide. I know it sounds bad but it’s doable. It’s the only choice we have. I just need to think."

"There’s nothing to think about, we go back to Angel."

Rage flooded her. "And have him die? I’d rather die myself. He’s injured, you heard what Gunn said. He almost died protecting me."

Gunn held his hands up in protest. "Hey, I didn’t say that. I said he was hurt fighting the demons."

Same thing. "We need to get in the car and drive around a bit. In circles, send the demon on a wild goose chase."

"We should go to Caritas."

No way in hell. "We can’t. You’ll die. They’ll hunt me down and you’ll die."

"No they – "

"For Christ sake, Cordy. Listen to me. There is no other way. Either we save Faith or I give myself up. If you take me back to the hotel, I’ll take off. If you try to stop me, I’ll fucking break your arm." Calm, she had to calm down…

NO! Calm was bad. Anger was good.

Anger helped her fight and gave her strength.

She had to fight.

Willow was tired of being scared. She had had enough of people dying for her, she wasn’t going to let anyone else go without a fucking fight. She was NOT going to lose ANYONE again.

Never fucking again.

The rage flowed through her, eradicating all of her fear. No, not all of it. She was still shit scared but right now she didn’t care.

Because she knew she had to do this and nothing was going to stop her.

She had everything to lose and she wasn’t giving up, she wasn’t going to let herself be the pathetic weak person she had been at the hotel.

Willow couldn’t stop the anger that was running through her veins. The sudden burst of fury caused her link with Faith to flare up. She was still alive, waiting.

"Everyone in the car," her voice was cold and Willow felt her control take over. "Gunn, drive around for a while, I need to work out a plan. Rondell, we need weapons. Try to think of someone you know who could lend us something or a place we could go to this time of night. Cordy, just… don’t try to talk me out of it."

Cordy shook her head. "I can’t let you do this, it’s suicide."

"There are worse things than death."

Sometimes, living was one of them.

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